Big life transitions can be hard for everyone, but for children, change can feel especially overwhelming. Even if a life transition is ultimately positive for a child, it can still be an overwhelming and confusing time for them. Whether it’s a divorce, a move, a new school, or a shift in family structure, children often experience transitions through their emotions and behaviour, even if they don’t yet have the words to explain what they’re feeling.
Children thrive on predictability and safety. When something changes, their nervous system may respond with stress, uncertainty, or fear- even if the change is a “good” change for the child, such as moving to a great new neighbourhood. This can show up in ways that are sometimes surprising to adults.
During big transitions, you might notice:
- Increased clinginess or separation anxiety
- More meltdowns, irritability, or emotional outbursts
- Regression (bedwetting, baby talk, needing extra reassurance)
- Trouble sleeping or changes in appetite
- Withdrawal or acting out at school
These responses aren’t signs that your child is “misbehaving”, they’re often a form of communication. Think of these behavioural shifts as communicative signals that your child might need some co-regulation and help adjusting to their changing environment. Change can feel like a loss of control, and children need support to feel safe again.
One of the most helpful things caregivers can do is to name the change in simple, honest language. Children don’t need every detail, but they do need clarity and reassurance. Gentle reminders like “Mom and Dad are living in two different houses but we will both still be your Mom and Dad” and “Moving can be scary but you are safe and loved” are especially important during family changes such as separation or divorce.
It’s also essential to make space for all feelings, even the messy ones. Children may feel sadness, anger, grief, or confusion, and validating those emotions helps them feel less alone. Often, the most supportive response is simply: “It’s okay to feel that way. I’m here with you.”
In seasons of uncertainty, small routines can provide a powerful sense of stability. Familiar rituals -bedtime stories, shared meals, outdoor walks- help children feel grounded when life feels different.
Children also process transitions differently than adults. Many work through emotions through play, creativity, movement, or time in nature rather than direct conversation. Offering gentle outlets can help them release stress in a safe and natural way.
Supportive activities might include:
- Drawing or journaling feelings
- Play-based expression with toys or stories
- Movement and outdoor timeSimple grounding practices in nature (noticing sounds, textures, breathing)
- Drawing or journaling feelings
- Play-based expression with toys or stories
- Movement and outdoor time
- Simple grounding practices in nature (noticing sounds, textures, breathing)
Most of all, kids need connection. During transitions, behaviour often improves when children feel emotionally held rather than corrected. They don’t need perfect parents- they need steady, supportive ones.
If your child or family is navigating a major life transition and could use extra support, counseling can provide a safe space to process emotions, build coping tools, and feel more secure through change. If you’d like to connect, I’m here to help.
