For many families in the Okanagan, wildfire season has become part of life. While we hope for safe summers, it's understandable that the smell of smoke, helicopters overhead, evacuation alerts, or news reports can bring back feelings of fear and uncertainty.
If you notice your child becoming clingier, asking lots of questions, having trouble sleeping, or seeming more anxious during fire season, they're not "overreacting." Their nervous system may simply be remembering a time when they didn't feel safe.
The good news? Our goal isn't to convince children there's nothing to worry about. Our goal is to help them feel safe enough to cope with uncertainty.
How To Talk To Your Kids About Wildfire Season
1. Start by validating their feelings.
Instead of saying: "Don't worry. Everything is fine."
Try: "I can see this is making you feel worried. That makes sense. We've experienced scary fires before."
Validation helps children feel understood. Feeling understood is often the first step toward feeling calmer.
2. Keep your own nervous system in mind.
Children often borrow our sense of safety. They notice our tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language more than our words.
This doesn't mean you have to hide your own feelings. It simply means taking a few slow breaths, grounding yourself, or stepping away from the news before talking with your child can make a big difference.
3. Answer questions honestly - but simply.
Children don't need every detail. Try to answer only what they're asking, using age-appropriate language.
For example: "Yes, there are fires in our province. Lots of people are working together to keep communities safe. If we ever needed to leave, we have a plan." Knowing there is a plan often helps children feel much more secure.
4. Limit repeated exposure to wildfire news.
Even when children seem busy playing, they're often listening. Constant updates, dramatic images, and adult conversations about worst-case scenarios can keep their brain in "danger mode."
Try choosing one or two times each day to check updates instead of having news running continuously.
5. Focus on what you can control.
Anxiety grows when we focus on uncertainty. Instead, involve children in simple, practical actions: Help pack an emergency comfort bag. Check flashlights together. Water plants. Practice your family plan.
Choose a favourite stuffed animal to bring if you ever needed to leave. These activities help children feel capable rather than helpless.
6. Keep routines as normal as possible.
Even when smoke changes outdoor plans, maintaining familiar routines, meals, bedtime, reading together, games, or movie nights, helps signal to the brain that life is still predictable and safe.
7. Remember that behaviour is communication.
Some children won't say, "I'm anxious." Instead, you may notice:
- More meltdowns
- Trouble sleeping
- Irritability
- Clinginess
- Physical complaints like tummy aches or headaches
- Difficulty concentrating
Rather than asking, "What's wrong with you?" try wondering, "What might your nervous system be trying to tell me?"
Most importantly...
If wildfire season feels hard for your family, you're not alone.
Many children—and adults—carry memories from previous fire seasons. It's completely understandable if smoke or evacuation alerts make your heart race. Our brains are designed to remember danger so they can protect us in the future.
With calm, connected adults, honest conversations, predictable routines, and practical coping tools, children can learn that feeling worried doesn't mean they're unsafe.
We can't always control the smoke or the fires, but we can help our children build confidence that they can cope, no matter what this season brings.
